The only expectations you should ever have in your entire lifetime should only be for yourself.

— Me

Here’s a remix of a friend’s track I did recently. If you like it, head over to my Soundcloud page and get yourself the free download. Hope you enjoy and thanks for taking the time to listen. :)

Back in Iowa. *sigh*

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on here. I’ve been really busy lately. Last thing I posted on here had to do with me being in Arkansas. I’ve decided since then to come back to Iowa, keep working at my old job and save money to buy some land and move out to Colorado. I’ve been wanting to move out there for the past 6 years and something somehow got in my way and stopped me from doing so. Partly it was a fear of change and being alone out there with no family nearby. But now, I have no family left in Iowa, they’ve all moved away. Right at this moment, I have no ties keeping me here in Iowa. No leases, no family, no girlfriend, no legal troubles, nothing. That’s nice to not have to worry about cutting things off anywhere, with anything or anyone.

While I was down in Arkansas, I learned quite a bit about gardening, different trees, building methods, etc. The only thing I didn’t like about the idea of buying land down there is it’s way too damn expensive in most places. I was planning on buying an acre from my parents at first, but over time I decided that if I really wanted to do all that I was planning on doing, I would most definitely run out of room in a year or two. Negotiating with my parents on getting more than an acre would be complete hell. Not to mention that they were wanting to add an extra condition in the contract of purchase that if I ever wanted to sell the land, I had to sell it back to them. Isn’t that about the same as renting? The only difference being that I get my money back and some change? I would most definitely appreciate the value of the land by a long shot and I highly doubt they would be willing to pay the price. That was a definite no-go.

So here I am back in Iowa, working ridiculously long shifts any chance I can get in order to save as much money as I possibly can so I can follow through with this. So I had originally planned on moving out there, finding another job and working until the land is paid off and then trying to focus more on music. My plan has definitely grown to be something much better and hopefully a lot more enjoyable. Now my plan is to buy some land and have music and art festivals on it. The payout for the land owner is pretty decent, enough to cover land payments for 2-4 months depending on how much that will be. Also, I hopefully have a friend that’s a killer chef and loves to get creative with dishes that’s going to come out there and help me develop the land and provide food services for festival goers. I’ve got a budget for music equipment that I can use for my personal production as well as getting the festival thing up and off the ground so I don’t have to pay for those services to be provided as well. Eventually I plan on building half a dozen cabins or so out there for friends family or anyone to come and stay out there for a completely unique experience, a chance to disconnect from society. If I’m able to live out there and make some money renting my land out for festivals as well as making some money off of my music and renting out cabins for people to come stay out there, I should be pretty well off and hopefully won’t have to work another job ever again. Honestly, I’m extremely excited and at the moment, I have more money saved up than I’ve ever had in my possession at any one point in time in my entire life. That feels good, it’s very reassuring. I really feel like I’m creeping closer and closer to my dreams. I can’t wait.

I’m so fascinated by cob, adobe and tree houses, it’s difficult to decide which one I’d like to build out here. I really like how easy cob is to build with, adobe building methods seem really time consuming having to make the bricks and let them dry. I’ve been reading a lot about adobes lately. From what I understand, they cant handle too much weight beyond 1 story since the walls are usually about 14” thick and solid. With cob, I see a lot of people doing an inner and outer wall with straw and sawdust between the two for insulation. Since each wall is about a foot thick and there’s about six inches of insulation, that makes for walls that are two to three times thicker than adobe walls. With a little added support, that allows you to add another level. I’m probably gonna go with cob for the sake of simplicity and structural integrity. I’m thinking I’ll build a tree house in the backyard and have a zip line going to the other tree house.

Besides that, I’ll be posting a lot more often now, I think.

If Less is More, Nothing is Everything.

"Generally we are not aware of love. How do you know that someone loves you? The person must declare his love verbally or make a present to his beloved. He has to perform some act to express his feelings. If a person loves you but shows no outward expression of any kind, you will never know of his love.
Love can only be known when it is aggressive. The more aggressive a person, the more love he can express. The quiet lover goes unnoticed because in order to experience serene love, your consciousness must also rise to that level to receive the message of love. We can only grasp violent love. Hence, the more aggressive a person, the more ardent the lover.”

~Osho - The Way of Tao, vol. 2 #17

Yesterday, I was back in the woods collecting rocks and drove my truck into some animal’s shallow den. I spent 4 hours digging under my truck enough to fit the jack under it. The frame of my truck was flat against the ground. I had to do this for my front left and back right tires enough to dump a wheelbarrow full of gravel under each tire so I could get out. After digging out some big rocks for a couple of hours, I heard something moving around in the woods. I snuck up and found a family of four armadillos. Then today, I found three more further down the creek. I’m not sure if it’s the same ones or another family. Pretty cool to watch them scavenge for food and burrow out their den. They weren’t really afraid of me either, they were acting really curious, not what I expected at all. That’s about it for now, my entire body is so sore, I’m ready to pass out, goodnight.

The past month or so, I’ve been working on clearing out a place to start a fruit, vegetable and herb garden. I wish I had taken photos before I started clearing it all out. It used to be a huge mound of dirt, tires, rims, logs, trees, plastic sheeting, netting, tarps, boots, shoes, old dishes, tool and rocks, mostly. Growing on top of that was dozens and dozens of thick blackberry and raspberry bushes along with some pokeweed scattered throughout. I cleared out as much as I could from the surface and had the neighbor come down with his skid loader and pull the dirt out, smooth it and try to clear the logs and bushes out I spent a couple days tilling and gradually adding more peat moss to help the consistency and water retention of the soil. Now all I need to do is get it tested for ph and nutrient levels before I plant. But also before I plant, I need to gather enough rocks to border the garden and build retaining walls to contain the dirt. In its current state, the dirt can easily run down the sides when you step off and would also like to have the retaining walls and bordering done before I put up the fence. I’m going to have the back end of the garden divided from the front part, it’ll be terraced with steps going down to it. The last few days, I’ve been gathering rocks and doing some clearing back in the woods to make it easier to take my truck back there further to load up the rocks. After I get the retaining walls built, fence put up and seeds planted, then I’ll start clearing out behind it for the house I’m going to start building in the next couple months. I’ll be getting the spot dug out, so it’ll be partially underground with a small courtyard and fire pit out front. The earth here is perfect for cob, very high clay content and I can get loads of sand from the creek bed where I’ve been getting all of my rocks from. I just need to find a cheap supply of straw and a lot more rocks and I’ll be ready to get started on that. I’m hoping to have it all built and ready to move in to by late fall and hopefully I can be completely off the grid by next year. There will be plenty of interesting posts in the near future on the progress of the garden, house and music, so keep an eye out! :)

A new remix I just finished! There are a couple other new tracks on my Soundcloud too, check them out, soundcloud.com/pawse

Been awhile.

Hey, I haven’t posted in a long time, thought maybe I should do something about it. There’s been a lot going on since I posted on here last, so here’s some news about what’s going on with my life, music and all that. I moved into my own place late last September, I got a job in October, I’ve been working like crazy since I got the job. That’s about it, really. I do have some new tracks up on Soundcloud though, be sure to check that stuff out if you enjoy my music. If you haven’t heard my music, give it a try, you might like something. :)

http://soundcloud.com/pawse

Journey of life.

I always have issues trying to find something to say to start these posts off, but once I do think of something it all begins to flow. First off, I feel like I’m surrounded by fools, I hate saying that, but that’s about all I could think about the past few days. I’ve learned so much from what people aren’t and what they COULD be doing with their lives, if only they could see these things through my eyes. It’s so easy for someone else to see your faults, especially when you’re at a complete stand-still and all you can think about is everything besides your future and well-being. That leaves me to give as much thanks and appreciation as I humanly can for the experiences I’ve had in this lifetime. I have learned an incredible amount if information and gained more than enough insight to relieve myself of all my petty problems of the past and to push myself towards success in the future. I just wish that some people I’m close to could have enough sense to do the same. I guess that’s life, right? I refuse to think so, but I guess we’ll see. What do you think?

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